


at the edge of the cliff

by theprincessed



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26326504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincessed/pseuds/theprincessed
Summary: A Jaemin & Jeno bike date ends unexpectedly...
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	at the edge of the cliff

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aokilovesjaehyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aokilovesjaehyun/gifts).



> Hiya! Well, this was a surprise. I cranked all of this out today, in honour of A's birthday. Happy birthday month again, chicka! 
> 
> Title from Oneus' _Dead or Alive_. Heh.
> 
> Hope you...enjoy? x

Jaemin has grown to love leaving the comfort of his room at the dorms for the great outdoors, especially when it's Jeno who's dragging him outside, but there's just one problem. He followed Jeno with everything – wearing the helmet Jeno got him for his birthday, buying a shiny new bike to support his interest and eating ramyeon near the roadside, which they burn off on the journey back home, but Jeno's something of a speed demon. 

He'd started off letting Jaemin ride in front of him and although that helps and Jaemin suspects he's getting in some ample time staring at his ass, eventually Jeno casually passes him and Jaemin is left in the dust. This evening is no exception as they re-enter the streets of the city after biking out to watch another sunset. It's a nice time for Jaemin to practice his photography and for them to be alone surrounded by greenery instead of people and under the pink sky. Now it's properly night-time and the city is lit up familiarly as Jaemin feels exhaustion settle into his bones and Jeno slows ahead, barely looking out of breath or tired. 

Jeno is crossing a road and, for a split second, Jaemin feels irritated that Jeno is so strong and fit and cool looking before he shakes away the feeling and glances up to call out to him. At the same time, his eyes dart to the left of the picture in front of him. A car is driving way too fast to be in the middle of Seoul. 

Jaemin's eyes swing from the car to Jeno. 

Jeno to the car. 

Jaemin opens his mouth but his yell gets lodged in his throat.

Staring but not taking anything in, he hears distant footsteps scattering and the surprised shouts and screams of strangers on the street. The hope in his chest that Jeno is one of them dies at the sound of a loud thud and the screech of brakes and, before he can think about it, Jaemin is running. His bike left thrown on the pavement means his legs almost immediately protest the sudden move, muscles aching, but Jaemin refuses to stop. He only realises he's shouting Jeno's name when a cluster of people gathered nearby swing around at the sound of his voice and he looks at them, wild-eyed. His knees hurt as he skids onto the road, Jeno's motionless body illuminated by the headlights of the car at fault. His blood boils with barely concealed rage and upset as his heart hammers painfully, but Jaemin ignores everything else for now to concentrate on Jeno.

“Jeno – Jeno-yah?” he gasps, hands hovering over Jeno's body as he lies sprawled out awkwardly on the wet ground, “Can you hear me? Please, just say something – _Jeno_!”

His desperate exclamation breaks a quiet groan from Jeno below and he turns his head to the side before Jaemin can hurriedly tell him not to. Sunglasses shattered from where they were perched in his hair and scratches across his face from the impact of his cheek meeting the road, it hits Jaemin a second time that he watched him collide with a car, thrown off his bike like he meant nothing and he was powerless to stop it.

“Jeno – Jeno, don't move,” he says quickly, hand on Jeno's shoulder, before he glances up and points at someone standing nearby. “Call 119 now! He needs an ambulance! Quickly!”

“No - “ Jeno mumbles, “'m'fine – Jae...”

Exerting himself to refuse, his eyes roll and blink slowly. He's clearly _not fine_ and Jaemin panics. “Don't be stupid! You're not fine! Jeno? Babe – stay awake, come on!”

It's a slip of the tongue, but he can't worry about that now. Instead, he puts his ear to Jeno's mouth and a hand gently to his chest to hear and see his breathing. It's there, wheezing noisily, and Jaemin resists shaking him awake as a woman holding a phone to her ear crouches down beside them, gaze wide and lips bitten.

“Is he - ?”

“He's breathing, yes - “ he interrupts, politeness out the window. Jaemin goes to check Jeno's wrist for his pulse, realising belatedly that one of his arms is at a strange angle and he doesn't want to leave his side, even for a nanosecond, to check the other, so he puts two fingers to Jeno's neck. By now a crowd has gathered and a commotion has started, but Jeno's pulse tickles weakly through his fingertips and Jaemin exhales shakily. “I think I found his pulse – it's fast but not – Jeno, can you hear me? It's okay, I'm here.”

The woman talks some more on the phone, but he tunes her out and strokes Jeno's hair, pieces of plastic from the remains of his sunglasses falling out. He feels guilty for taking up so much of Jeno's time, snapping pictures until the city went dark. If he wasn't so selfish and so terrible at keeping up with Jeno on his bike then they might already be home. He'd give anything now to have Jeno plead with him to rustle up something in the kitchen before bed. Instead, he's -

“Jaeminnie?”

He blinks away blurry vision to immediately bring his face close to Jeno's, his whisper springing him back into action. “Oh thank god! Help is coming, I promise!”

Jaemin sees Jeno's face turn even paler and wonders if they overdid it with the cycling because he's sweating too, clammy to the touch. He gasps when Jeno makes a sudden grab for Jaemin's arm with his good hand, squeezing urgently. “Jaem – hurts – “

“I know, I know, babe,” he coos, lightly cupping his cheek. A tear rolls from the corner of Jeno's eye to land in Jaemin's palm and he swallows down his own tears to give Jeno a wobbly smile. “You're being so brave – everything's gonna be fine.”

“Okay, can everyone give us some room, please? Thank you,” says a voice from above and then Jaemin, hunched over Jeno, is being tapped on the shoulder. “Excuse me, hi – can we take a look?”

Feeling strangely protective, Jaemin hesitates until he takes in the dark uniforms of the paramedics and he scuttles backwards. Instantly, he regrets it as two professionals move in and he loses the grip on Jeno's hand. He tries to go back to him, but one of them stop him. Uselessly standing beside them, Jaemin presses the heels of his hands into his eyes as his ears stay attuned to Jeno's pain, muffled by the mask as they give him oxygen and start to carefully bandage his arm for the journey to the hospital.

Luckily, it feels like no time at all when they're lifting Jeno onto a stretcher and turning towards the ambulance. The police are here too, but Jaemin goes to follow the paramedics before one of them looks at him curiously. For a second he's embarrassed, thinking he's been recognised, before he remembers that he needs a reason to go with Jeno.

“I – will he be okay?” he asks instead, watching his boyfriend leave.

Hovering by the doors of the ambulance, the fairly young female paramedic's face softens and she doesn't touch Jaemin's shoulder exactly, but he feels it like a comforting caress anyway. “He's in shock and his wrist isn't looking too good, but he's alive.”

She smiles gently and Jaemin feels his face heat up before he dares. “Can I – can I go with him? I'm his best friend, he hasn't – we're here alone and I need to tell - “

“Are you getting in or not?” the male driver asks impatiently, holding the fort with Jeno until the other paramedic climbs into the ambulance after him.

Jaemin scrambles up before either of them can say no and he breathes a little easier as the doors clunk closed. His fingers itch to hold Jeno's, but with all the tubes in his hands, he clasps his in his lap and sits perfectly straight, eyes never leaving Jeno's prone form and the beep of the machines and the siren of the ambulance blending into one sound that rattles around in his brain as they race towards the hospital.

With nothing physical tethering him to Jeno, Jaemin can only watch as he's taken through the doors of the hospital and into a brightly lit room that Jaemin isn't invited to. Alone, he replays the sight of Jeno slowly blinking up at him to reassure himself that he's here, he's alive and he's in the best possible hands right now. In just a plain t-shirt and his Adidas pants which he favours when practicing or cycling, Jaemin locks his arms around his torso, shivering. A tidal wave of fear and sadness and panic rises up again, the same one when he saw the speeding car and he can feel himself about to cry properly. As fine as he is about showing positive emotion, he doesn't like crying in front of anyone and he needs to be strong for Jeno.

He's biting his lower lip hard when someone comes out from the room he's not allowed in. Wearing scrubs, she has a friendly air and makes a beeline for him as he stands listlessly in the corridor, hugging himself.

“Hello, are you...?”

She quiets when Jaemin feels his chin quiver. “I can't – I don't – I'm - “

“Hey, it's okay, breathe,” she says, bringing the touch to the shoulder that the paramedic didn't. “Sit down and just breathe, okay?”

Jaemin sits, practically pushed into the one of the row of chairs nearby, his mind kicks into overdrive. “Jeno – he – I have to - “

His chest tightens until it hurts and he hears his own breaths and his blood rushing past his ears. “ _Breathe_.” the nurse orders more firmly, voice strangely distant. “Come on, in and out- that's it - “

Jaemin obeys because he's scared he's on the edge of a legit panic attack. Eventually, his brain comes back online and he takes a grateful deep breath in and exhales slowly. A blush rushes to his cheeks and he ducks his head. “Sorry. I don't know how that happened.”

“Hospitals are scary, so that's reason enough,” she jokes. “I'm a nurse and I still feel like that sometimes.”

“Really?”

She nods, a reassuring tilt to her smile. “So, can you tell me why you're here?”

“Jeno, my – uh – my best friend...” Jaemin hesitates and swallows his tears again, the words sticking in his mouth. He wants to say _he's more than my best friend, I think he's the love of my life_. “He was hit by a car. I saw it happen.”

“Ah, the RTA,” she mumbles to herself, understanding. “I can say he's in the best hands possible and they're doing everything they can to help him.” Logically, he knows this but it doesn't stop the ball of dread in his stomach that's weighing him down. He's tired and worried and so lonely. “Do you want me to call someone to let them know? His mom?”

It's a reasonable question from the nurse. 

Jaemin _forgot_. 

He forgot he should tell the hospital that Jeno's here so they can tell whoever needs to know. The thought of Jeno's mother learning about this from a nurse or a hospital receptionist makes Jaemin feel sick, so he shakes his head vehemently and attempts to stand. His knees still hurt, probably scraped by the road. “No, I'll – I should call - “

The doors nearby swing open and another person in scrubs comes out, carrying two black items. Jaemin sees Jeno's phone case and his stomach drops to his feet. No. No way. He must notice Jaemin's skittish gaze because his face morphs into surprise. “Sorry, I don't mean to scare you. We were just trying to find more information on who we have in resus and found these. Are you Lee Jeno's next of kin?”

“This is - “ the nurse stands up, addressing the other member of her team, before realising that she barely knows anything as well and she looks up at Jaemin for answers.

“Jaemin. I'm Jaemin.” he says flatly, staring at Jeno's phone and wallet in the other man's hands. He knows they would, they had to, but he feels uneasy that they've gone through Jeno's stuff looking for his identity when Jaemin has been right outside the whole time. “I'm his – I'm – “ He's always been there. Same day audition, same group, same dorm, same debut. They've always done everything together. They fell in love, hard and fast and wild, but most importantly mutual. His back injury nearly wiped all that away, but they refused to let it tear them apart. And now, this - “I'm sorry, I can't - ”

Jaemin bolts for the door, rounding the corner in haste. He needs to see Jeno, but he _can't_ and the wait is gutting him to the core. He tugs on his blonde hair and slides down to the ground, knees to his chest. He reaches into his pocket and dials a number, finally letting the tears fall.

He's still sitting on the ground, the hustle and bustle of the hospital entrance passing him by, when footsteps stop in front of him and he looks up at one of Dream's managers. He must look truly pitiful because he gestures for Jaemin to get up and ruffles his hair affectionately when he stands. His overworked muscles are now stiff as well and he hobbles after him, waving away his concern for him to tell the hospital what they need to know. 

Jaemin chickened out of calling Jeno's parents, hoping he wouldn't have to by the time their manager arrived and took care of everything. He feels like a child, but he's too drained to put up the front anymore. 

He leans against the nearest wall when the same female nurse as before finds them. At first, he can barely take in what she's saying. “So, he's – Jeno's okay?”

“He's stable,” she nods, briefly looking at Jaemin kindly then towards the manager. “He sustained a fractured right wrist from more than likely using his hand to break his fall after being thrown by the car and some superficial cuts to his face. He's pretty battered and bruised, with a fairly severe case of road rash on his knees, elbows and abdomen, but it's nothing life threatening. I'd say he's a very lucky boy, all things considered.”

The relief makes Jaemin's whole body weak and his shoulder nudges his manager's, feeling his hands catch his forearms from behind to hold him up. “Thank you. Now could you take a look at him, please?”

“What? No, hyung!” Jaemin whines. “Jeno - “

“Jaemin-ah, I'll go to Jeno,” he interjects firmly, brooking no argument, “and you go with this nice lady to get checked out. One of you in the hospital is bad enough.”

Suitably cowed, Jaemin lets the nurse lead him into a quiet single room. All he can think about is Jeno and how he's alright, but he's still not allowed to see him. He entertains making a break for it when the nurse sits him on the examination table and turns towards a trolley full of gauze and band-aids until she starts to talk.

“So, how long have you and Jeno been friends?”

“ _Best_ friends,” he amends sharply because if he can't say anything more, he can at least have that. She pauses briefly from rolling up his pant legs to his knees, gives him a look he can't decipher then continues until his knees are bared to the air. The skin stings even more now that Jaemin can see the damage. It's a scrapped, bloody mess, but probably nothing compared to the pain Jeno is in, so he sucks it up and answers the nurse's attempt at light conversation. “We've been best friends for 8 years. He's - “ - _the man I love, someone I can't live without, everything to me_ \- “He's the best person I know.”

“Wow, strong words.” she grins as she begins to clean Jaemin's knees. “It's nice. He's lucky to have you to care for him. You made sure he got here when he needed to.”

Jaemin feels unworthy of the praise because he forgot everything he ever passively heard about first aid to run into the road in the middle of an accident, forced a stranger to call an ambulance and sat talking Jeno's ear off with empty platitudes to try and keep him conscious. He feels his eyes well up some more and his lip quiver and suddenly misses his friends something fierce. Their manager must have thought it best not to panic them until he knew the situation properly as they probably would've insisted on being here already.

“I love him so much,” he cries, dropping his face into his trembling hands. He can barely feel the nurse tending to his scrapes. “I don't know what I'd do if he – if - “

“You won't have to know tonight,” she reminds him gently, patting his arm. “And all done. You can go see him now if you like?”

Jaemin whips his head up so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash, dark eyes big and round. With a band-aid covering the worst on one knee, Jaemin feels that little bit more normal. “Really?”

The nurse smiles and leads him out of the room. He's trying not to gallop past her – because frankly he doesn't even know where Jeno is without her help – when someone vaguely familiar coming through the hospital entrance catches Jaemin's eye and stops him in his tracks. The person, a man in his forties maybe, looks anxious, but the rage Jaemin had parked back at the scene of the accident rears its ugly head once again.

“You,” he grits out, striding across the floor with flexing fingers as the man finally looks at him and his face falls ashen. Jaemin grabs his shirt before he can think twice. “What are you doing here?!”

Alerted, a security guard rushes over as Jaemin clenches his hands in the man's shirt. “Hey! Break it up!”

“Jaemin!” his manager exclaims, joining the struggle as the man tries to back away, his eyes haunted. _Good_ , Jaemin decides viciously. Jeno could've been _killed_.

“I'm sorry!” the man yelps. “I'm really, truly sorry!”

Jaemin feels hands stronger than his pull his fingers from the man and his manager steps between them, pushing Jaemin in the chest to put some distance between them. “Hey, think of your image,” he hisses, holding onto him when he senses Jaemin about to try again, fire in his veins and his determined eyes never leaving the terrified culprit's face. “Fuck my image, hyung!” he hisses back, “He ran a stoplight and nearly killed Jeno!”

“Look at me – hey,” he says urgently, cupping Jaemin's tensed jaw to get him to do as he says, “look at me, Jaemin-ah. He didn't kill him, okay? Jeno's alive and I'll take you to him if you just give me a minute.” Glaring at the man for distracting him from seeing Jeno, Jaemin feels his upset turn down to a simmer as he relents, satisfied when manager-hyung turns towards the nurse and the security guards. “I think you'd better call the police.”

Whilst the man awaits his fate, Jaemin slips away to the area of the ER their manager had pointed him towards, probably thinking it'll keep him out of causing real trouble. With a mix of excitement and nerves, Jaemin peeks around the curtain of one cubicle to see Jeno - _his_ Jeno. He's hooked up to a heart monitor and several other machines. There's bruising starting to redden on his forehead and slashed little papercut-like wounds around his eyes and cheeks, but he beams his happy moon-crescent smile when his eyes lock with Jaemin's.

“Jaeminnie, hi,”

He aborts lifting his arm to wave, bound by a plaster cast in a confirmation that he's fractured his wrist and he lies on the bed in his t-shirt and boxers; the rash from the asphalt visible on his knees too. At least they'll be matching, Jaemin thinks, as he rounds the side of Jeno's bed to tuck a discarded blanket around Jeno's legs. He knows he's fussing and he hasn't even said hello yet, but Jeno watches him silently with an air of amusement, like this hasn't been the night from hell for them.

It means Jaemin sits down heavily in the chair on Jeno's left, his mouth a tight, grim line. He clutches a patch of blanket and curls his fingers until they bite into his palm. “Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again, Lee Jeno!” he growls.

“I'll try my best,” he replies. Jaemin makes a noise between another growl and a cry, bowing his head until Jeno's hand slides on top of his. His skin is still a little cool, but the moment is real and Jaemin grabs onto it for dear life.

Taking advantage of it just being the two of them, he stands and runs his other hand gently through Jeno's red hair and leans over to drop a kiss onto an unmarked area of his face. “I love you so much, Jeno-yah and I'm so thankful you're alright.” As he pulls back and sits again, fingers locking with Jeno's on the bed, Jeno grimaces and squirms. “What? What's wrong?” Jaemin asks, already on high alert.

“What? – It's – I - “ Jeno's body lurches, but he struggles to sit up. He turns his face away from Jaemin in time to retch.

Thinking he's been sick, Jaemin pushes him to sit up properly but Jeno groans and Jaemin feels him grow clammy between his shoulderblades. The pallor of his face from the accident returns and Jaemin looks over his shoulder at the blood spattered down the side of the bed as Jeno arches in his hold, face twisted in sudden agony. “Oh god – oh no, Jeno! Help! Somebody help!” he shouts, realising something is very wrong, one arm underneath Jeno's writhing form and the other hitting the emergency call button.

Within an instant, a whole team of medics descend and quickly work out the scene – the blood, Jeno's pale, sweaty face and the onset of pain. Jaemin is pushed out of the way and one of them lifts Jeno's t-shirt, revealing the horror underneath. The skin of his abdomen is mottled dark purple and ominously spreads from the left side of his ribs and stomach. “Okay, push K intravenously and get me fresh platelets and blood type A, please – quick as you can – and call the OR! He's haemorrhaging!” 

The steady beep of the machines escalate insistently along with the noise of the doctors and Jaemin stumbles backwards as they lie Jeno flat. His eyes roll and Jaemin feels like he's losing him all over again as he stops moving. The barriers on his bed are hurriedly raised. “Okay, to the OR _now_! He needs surgery! I think we've got a ourselves a splenic rupture!”

As the thud of running footsteps become distant and disappear, taking Jeno away from him, Jaemin turns his head to see their manager, flanked in the doorway by two police officers. They've obviously come to talk to Jaemin about the accident. He blinks and takes a step forward. He feels weak again, wrung out like he can't take anymore. His vision narrows and swims, filling with static, and he feels extremely off-balance.

Jeno's life hangs in the balance too.

Jaemin's world tilt sharply (here and now, even if Jeno _is_ his world). 

The last thing he sees are feet rushing towards him before everything fades to black.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies. Any kudos and/or comments are greatly appreciated x
> 
> [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/theprincessed) & [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/theprincessed) @theprincessed - Come chat to me (seriously, I need more kpop friends lol). :)


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